Wednesday, July 25, 2007

our dog got it also

A couple of days ago I had a flashback to my childhood. I remembered that my father used to beat our dog, also, besides beating Mom and me. My wife has reminded me that someone has said that if someone abuses animals there is a good chance they will move on to abusing people also. I don't know why my father beat us and our dog. I don't know why he had such a raging temper. Even more confusing: I don't know why he could be so tender and loving sometimes and then so out-of-control at other times. And it was even more confusing and frightening for me, as a little boy. I wish my father had accepted the offer of help that was available to him. He refused it. I feel sad about that. It's part of my grieving process. I wonder what kind of grieving my own children and wife have done over the years about my own deficiencies.

Life is not fair. People make bad choices and sometimes do bad things. I wish life were not that way. It tears me up when I observe someone else being abused or having a difficult time recovering from past abuse. I wish I could do more, but sometimes I can't.

Life is not fair.

But I won't give up trying to help things get better.

4 Comments:

Blogger Enola said...

My mom killed my dogs - twice. First time was when she moved us out of our childhood home and into an apartment with her new (and soon to be, abuser) boyfriend. She had the animals "put to sleep" claiming they were too old to survive the move. Second was when she travelled down to my college graduation. Had my dog "put to sleep" claiming the dog was getting too old and wouldn't have done well being kenneled.

Wonder what that says about her?

6:41 AM  
Blogger Marie said...

Al, I am new here. I got your blog from Tery. I too am in recovery from childhood trauma and family violence. The road to healing and recovery has been long and emotionally draining. But it is worth it.

I personally feel that people who abuse defensless animals have serious problems that need to be addressed.

Please stop by my blog at nodramahere.blogspot.com

9:44 PM  
Anonymous Al Johnson said...

Thanks for your comment, Marie. I did go and visit your blog.

6:10 PM  
Blogger Marj aka Thriver said...

I just really appreciate your awareness and honesty here, Al.

My mother killed a pet, too. It was our beloved cat. She had him put to sleep while I was away at college and didn't tell me. She let me come home and look all around the house, calling for him, before she fessed up about what she had done without consulting me.

12:44 PM  

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