Monday, October 02, 2006

This floats my boat!

Our son called me today and asked what I would be doing at 4 pm. I forget what I told him, probably something about getting some more work done. He said he had an idea for me to go canoeing with him and his son. Well now, that sounded much better than work! We had a good time. It was Memory Making. And therapeutic for me, getting to do something with my
family and there were no abusive words. I even was able to sit in the back of the canoe and paddle it so it could be steered. I assumed because our son is so athletic (he far outshines me) and because he's done a fair amount of canoeing that he would have mastered the steering motions, but he hadn't. I didn't gloat but it made me feel good that there are still some things I can teach my son. We took supper in a sack with us and ate it along the bank of the river where we beached the canoe for awhile.

This was one of those special gifts that God drops into my life every once in awhile. It meant a lot to me. Our son *wanted* to do this with me!! Maybe I'm OK after all. My head sometimes tells me I am. I decided with my therapist that I am. But it is still difficult to drop the old feeling, from the child abuse, that I'm not OK. I'm trying to be patient as I disconnect from that old lie. Old lies die hard!

It's time for bed,
my canoeing muscles are sore

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